desires should be gratified.

My world is seriously falling apart. My family is falling apart. They say bearer of bad news comes in 3. And I guess I've gotten them all.

First bearer of bad news was that I found of that my mum was seeing a new guy.
Second bearer of bad news was to receive the news of my uncle's death.
Last bearer of bad news is of course the worst of all three was to know that my mum asked Uncle Gordon to move out because of her new fucking relationship!

I seriously can't handle all of this in just a week! I have so many questions with no answers! Why must everything happen so fast and to me?. Why haven't I get any calls or anything from my friends to comfort me other that Elyza? Haven't I put any impact on them to even notice me? Why must that new guy come in to our live? WHY?

I seriously can't handle any of this. But this happened to this family the first time long time ago, and Then, I was too young to realise anything or did something. But Now, I'm very well aware about what's going on, and if I didn't at least try to make an afford to save this family, I might as well end up homeless. I don't deserve a family that I can't keep.

It's December! It's the time of joy and laughter. It's not the time of depression and sadness. I have noone to talk to, I have no other reason in life to fight for anymore if my family now falls apart.

I'm only 16 and both fathers left me. What does that say about me then? Think third time's the charm? Think he'll stick around longer for me to find that out? Why can't the guy who I come back to every night be Uncle Gordon not some random guy my mum dates. Why can't he stay here anymore? Why can't there be at least some holiday miracle for this family. Why must everything bad happen here?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Fuck this life! Fuck the guy living up there! Fuck everybody! Fuck that !!