nothing is beat up straight.

hey peeps! =) Well, I can now officially say that the year 2007 pretty much sucked for me.

I won't be blogging as much, MAY not be blogging as much.

It's safe to say that now my family is really whacked up. I'm going to be moving out of this house, and, well, I'm not going to tell where I'm going to stay. I can't deal with the my mum's having adultery issue any longer, so, I'm going to be leaving her and will be living by myself, me and my sister.

I never in my wildest dream thought for a second that I'll be leaving my mum for this matter. Well I guess, everything is possible.

Way to go to welcome my 2008 huh..

I've gotta get packing now, I'll see you, my friends in school.. Love youu guys loads! <3

To you.

Happy 16th Birthday, Paul

So cool what you can do with PhotoShop! It gnarly!

I'm on the fast track.

Wondering why I was MIA for this couple of days? Well, I got an emergency call from my auntie telling me that grandfather was admitted into a hospital because there's pressure in his eye that might cause blindness. So, me and my sis rushed back to Taiping along with my aunty.

Grandfather was lucky to undergo surgery with success. =) He's alright now. So, while we were there, it was time to do a little Christmas shopping! My sister really went all out! We bought so many stuff, the peoples who works there treat us like VIPs! Spent over RM 200 in one shop! Just soft toys.. It was bloody cheap!! All those micro beads were damn f-ing cheap! I regret buying Ely's Barney after that! There was one huge ass Barney there which cost way cheaper! And it was bigger!* Crystal, can you see your pressie? the one that looks like your cunning laugh XD*

Spent at least 2 hours there! haha! Went back with handful of stuff! My sis is incredibly greedy when she's travelling! She ate so so much things! I was so surprise cause she usually do not eat that much a day..

Pretty much this and that. Ooh, on the last day, my hand beg almost got snatched by 2 guys on bikes! He was ready to snatch my beg but my aunty saw and she screamed that scare him I guess!. Man, she was like JEANETTEEEEEEE! & I was so blur, she actually already warned me that there's alot of snatching there but it didn't cross my mind fast enough that they were going to snatch my beg. So, I was like frozen when she shouted my name out. I'm so stupid!

Came back on Monday, just in time for Christmas Dinner at Shangri-La. I no like, eat to often, damn bored of those foods. There was like this santa there giving out begs of cookies.. So, I was passing him and I said,

Me : Hie Santa
Santa : Hie *walks off*
Me : Aren't you going to give me a candy cane? I've been so polite
Santa : * bends down to reach for his beg*
Me : Jie, I dare you to smack that ass.

He was really really rude & not out going & not cheerful AND he did not say HO HO HO!

Anyhoo, since santa didn't give us any goody begs, the chef baked cookies specially for us! wahaha! It didn't taste any good. LOLS!I was obviously wearing heels so I couldn't walk that perfectly, on the way out, there's this big shot coming into the hotel with all the entourage behind, so, my sister wanted to know who was it, she ran downstairs to see who was it (hiau poh). She was so fast, and I barely could walk! It was some prince from don't know mana.

I was so high, the lift came open and I was standing outside, when the door opened, I screamed MERRY CHRISTMAS! but, luckily noone was inside! They must think I was insane. haha!

Came back home, decided to swing by Ely's to surprise her.. Her family is freaking HUGE! Went there but I couldn't bare to down any lok-lok although it looks so good!! What a waste! Ooh wells.After that, went over to Uncle Gordon's condo to stay over. Bought some DVDs to take over..
Bought Bring It On In It To Win It. In that movie, Carson really looks like Taylor Momsen plus Willa Holland!! She seriously look 100% like Taylor!

Watched the Nanny Diaries! FINALLY!! Chris Evans is really Hottie McHottie! Harvard Hottie.

Long enough, I'm out !

He scares me & he raised CHUCK which scares ME.

Nyak nyak. I pimped someone's blog last night! haha! It's so so easy to recover other people's passwords this days. I'm not going to tell you how I got her password though. haha! I shock it out of her brains! I teleported it out =P

There's a grasshopper in my stairway! Mum said it's my uncle. Strange, why would he come here when he's family is at Subang? & why grasshopper?

Anyways, I'm so so grateful for having You Tube's site and Daily Motion! It's so great to have it if you really want to search for something to watch! And Astro is always slow on the new stuffs like Ellen Degeneres' episodes and TRL.. They should really be updated more often.

Caught today's Ellen Show, don't really watch it on tv, pretty much watch it on the net.. =) Anyways, today's episode. this 5 year old boy who can read really well & started reading at the age of 13 months, and he knows everything about the presidents and stuff. Very impressive. Then there was Carrie Underwood which I've already watched.

Love Ellen! If only there's torrents for her show.

Uuh, then I watched the male cast of Gossip Girls on TRL. Check it out HERE. It's really funny when every question asked, they'll answer Chace. lols. watch it to understand. =) Did you know Penn & Ed are left handed? & If only Ed can use his accent in the show!! I likey people with accent. =)

Chace is so cute! He's already knocking off Zac Efron off the list! Way to go!

Oh man!! I just found out that Josh Duhamel was on Ellen the day before Carrie Underwood which was today's episode, ergo Josh was yesterday's episode!! Urgh. Anyways, it's really funny when Ellen sings for him. Check it out HERE.

I was watching Star World's guide for January on TV and earth to StarWorld, there won't be The Golden Globes Award when the writers are on a strike! Who's going to go? LOLS!

I'm outt!

It's all connected !

I can't help but to notice that Justin Timberlake's lyrics are all tied to what I've been feeling lately. It's like he's composing his lyrics based on what I'm feeling which is pretty cool to me. But, to look at a bigger picture, he's lyrics are, to me, based on all the bad things that life can offer and all the disappointments and sadness around the world.

Like his lyrics from Losing My Way really suits how I've been feeling.

It is breaking me down
Watching the world spin round
While my dreams fall down
Is anybody out there?

Can anybody out there hear me?
'Cause I can't seem to hear myself
Can anybody out there see me?
'Cause I can't seem to see myself...
There's gotta be a heaven somewhere
Can you save me from this hell?
Can anybody out there feel me?
'Cause I can't seem to feel myself

Losing my way

& this is pretty much how I feel about my mum's life right now.- Lyrics from What Goes Around Comes Around.

Don't want to think about it

Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?

It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

I feel like I'm in denial.. I should be at around acceptances right about now. =P
Don't want to deal about it now.

Ohkayy!, I'm SO SO SO into Miami Ink right now !! I love it! I need to watch it every second of everyday! haha ;D.. Downloading the whole season! Can't wait to get the complete seasons. Ami James, Chris Nunes and Chris Garver are damn damn good at what they do! They're mind-blowing-ly amazing! If I were to get a tattoo, I'll personally fly all the way to Miami to get it done!

It makes me ill see you give <3 and attention at his will.

I was suppose to be out yesterday and today! But instead, I get stuck at home with my two best friend, sore throat and the rhinovirus. Wanna put my illness in a fancy word. Ooh and it's a real word! I'm not making it up. =)

I regret that day when Paul asked me to sit inside while it was drizzling and I said to him "Why are you so scared of little drops of water, not like it'll kill you". It's sure as hell can make you sick!

I was sleeping the whole day yesterday since I can't sleep at night. When I'm sick, I won't be able to sleep at night cause of the nose blockage but I'll be able to take long naps. haha!

There's gotta be a Heaven somewhere, can you save me from this Hell

I'm turning my life around. What goes around comes around. One less unhappy day is one more happy day. Who am I to stop whats happening. Dark and twisted life of mine will now become bright and shiny life!

Putting the past in the past and looking forward for more sunrise.

Wooh, yesterday was Ely's 16th birthday party!! It wasn't as bad as it looks. At least everyone had a good time =). And the foods there.. never ending. haha! After all that, came back home along with Crystal. You should see the way she sits. Many different positions. LOLS

Before that, watched Justin Timberlake's FutureSex LoveShow. That dude can really dance his ass off on stage! He's one heck of a dancer! Multi-billionaire at the age of 24! It's so damn impressive! <3 him!! Team Justin =D

Anyhoo,

Today, I slept the whole day cause I ate too many panadol cold&flu. I was so sleepy! I knew that eating flu medicine can make someone sleepy but I've never experience it myself till today.

Went out for dinner and I couldn't even eat or look at them! Don't want to talk about it. Just didn't want to go home, I crash Choo's, Hollie's & Paul's guys night out =P Went watch footie with Kim after that. Me & Crystal went our own direction since we don't watch footie. Went Kawloon then Coffee Bean..

Chit-chat .. talked-talk .. gossip-CNN... hahaha!! It's such a funny conversation! Fitness First and In The Sun really cracks me up! =D..

Then, Crystal's KDU friends came and join us. Along with Jon and Azuri, someone I know. Kept talking until it was time to head to Choo's.

Play play the whole time. And when it was the funnest game to be played, Pictionary, but without the board or anything. We just made up the words, I HAD to leave! shhs! I want to playy!! I wrote Bye-Bye Bird, London Bridge Is falling Down and Ring-Ring. ahahha!!. Those were mine. =)

No pictures to be uploaded. =( Never take pictures la.

Happie Sweet sixteenth Elyza Wong Yi Mei!

My world is seriously falling apart. My family is falling apart. They say bearer of bad news comes in 3. And I guess I've gotten them all.

First bearer of bad news was that I found of that my mum was seeing a new guy.
Second bearer of bad news was to receive the news of my uncle's death.
Last bearer of bad news is of course the worst of all three was to know that my mum asked Uncle Gordon to move out because of her new fucking relationship!

I seriously can't handle all of this in just a week! I have so many questions with no answers! Why must everything happen so fast and to me?. Why haven't I get any calls or anything from my friends to comfort me other that Elyza? Haven't I put any impact on them to even notice me? Why must that new guy come in to our live? WHY?

I seriously can't handle any of this. But this happened to this family the first time long time ago, and Then, I was too young to realise anything or did something. But Now, I'm very well aware about what's going on, and if I didn't at least try to make an afford to save this family, I might as well end up homeless. I don't deserve a family that I can't keep.

It's December! It's the time of joy and laughter. It's not the time of depression and sadness. I have noone to talk to, I have no other reason in life to fight for anymore if my family now falls apart.

I'm only 16 and both fathers left me. What does that say about me then? Think third time's the charm? Think he'll stick around longer for me to find that out? Why can't the guy who I come back to every night be Uncle Gordon not some random guy my mum dates. Why can't he stay here anymore? Why can't there be at least some holiday miracle for this family. Why must everything bad happen here?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Fuck this life! Fuck the guy living up there! Fuck everybody! Fuck that !!

Obituary.

His Obituary.

My uncle, Gary Cheng past away this morning, 12th of December 2007 at 5 am after being diagnosed with cancer a year ago and had a stroke exactly a month ago which falls on the 11th of November 2007. Leaving behind his lovely & caring wife, Lily Choo and his only daughter, Carolyn Cheng.

To be honest, he wasn't a very supporting uncle but he was a loving husband and a responsible father.

I'll want to remember this day as it was his last. I want to make a difference like how he didn't. He has cancer and lived for a year. He was lucky as most cancer patient only have 6 months. He had double and yet, he did not enjoy what life is. He did not went travelling around like it was his last day everyday. He did not have adventure the day he discovered he was too a cancer patient.

I want to make a difference. If I had 6 months of living, I won't let my last days to be sleeping on the bed waiting for the Angel of Death to claim me. I'll be on rollercoaster, I'll be on top of a mountain, I'll be swimming in the ocean!

May His Soul Rest In Peace.

Now, who bet my blog can't be more dark and twisted than that!.

Better lock it in your pocket bringing this one to the grave

Just when I thought the day can't get any longer, I slept at 4 this morning, so many things ran through my mind.

Woke up today to watch The Hills finale then my sis asked why aren't I ready for lunch and I say mum didn't invite me, she invited you only so I don't want to go. I'm mad at her bytheway. All my anger and depression is caused by her and the reason she left us for the weekend. Hadn't spoke to her in 4 days now. 

So, she personally came in my room and asked me to go for lunch, so fine. Went to The Curve for lunch at Little Penang Kafe. I'm never going there anymore. Usually with Ely I didn't have to pay but with my family also I didn't have to pay! I'll make them pokai.. The Ely's father came and chit-chat with my mum for awhile.

I was so moody that I just sat there looking away, even Ely's dad asked why was I so sad. but I didn't answer him. I think I was being a little rude not to, I apologize. 

After that, I went to buy bras and panties. This time, pretty amazing, I didn't go up a size. It's been almost and year and a half since I got new bras. I tried on damn alot and it's all not nice. One even made me look like I have a sausage underneath. 

Ooh, then during that, there's this lady who cut my line and went into the changing room, but I was too moody to even stop her. I don't have anymore fights in me to fight other people.

The last one was perfect. I was taking too long so my sister offered her service but obviously, I decline. haha! Which sister lets another sister see her boobs! So, I wore the last bra and wore my shirt on and stand at the door for her to check, I don't know why but she said she wanted to see it. It's weird I know, that's not all, she started literally molesting my boobs. Poking poking and tapping tapping. Until I asked her ' So doctor, do I have any lumps? '

Didn't talk the whole entire ride back until now. In fact, she's not even in right now. And last night, she came back at 2! Which responsible mother comes back at 2 in the morning!. 

She was talking to Ely's dad about our safety that all parents care about our safety. That weekend she went Penang without tell us, without any phone calls back to check up the entire time. Even Uncle Gordon called to tell that he'll be leaving to Penang soon and he called almost 10 times in 2 days! and she didn't bother to make even 1 to ask how are we doing!

With that kind of mother and that kind of attitude, you think you won't get depressed and angry? You'll be lucky you don't need to visit the shrink! 

On the most depressed day of my life, it rains for ever! GREAT. can't you just give me a little hope of light and a brighter day to tell me that tomorrow will be another day!!??!

If you leave, don't come back

This is mostly how I'm feeling and how messed up my life is right now!

Get the picture!

Everything is not straight forward and clear, in fact everything is messed up and dark & twisted! I didn't thought that I would have to face the messed up facts of life and the concept of what life is in this age! I am really not ready for life to bite me in the ass.

My mum's mind is wandering around and she's became this insane woman to handle and there's like my aunt who has to take care of my deadly ill uncle and God know if she slept at all since she's always in the hospital. She hadn't came back home for almost a week.

Ahh! I want to be somewhere that doesn't have any problems and any conflict of anything. I want to be in a white room with no windows and no way problems and messed up stuff seeps in!

Anyways,

enough of me with my problems to pry on people ( did I use that word correctly?)

The Hills season finale is tonight !! Nooo, I want more Hills! Lauren came out with her collections of begs which I thought was very nice! I loved them!. She's with Brody Jenner! & I think he looks like Ben Affleck. haha!

Watched Victoria Secret 2007 last night and boy all of them was lip-syncing! Even Heidi Klum and the Spice Girls! Justin's opening act was way better than Will.I.Am's.

I'm out.

He's cold as ice - Iceman!

I'm blogging!! =) My connection is still down! Fuck it! Whatever.

Mum and Uncle Gordon both went up to Penang, separately. haha! got to add that. & Jessie and I got the whole house together. Shocking. It was absolutely boring todayy! I woke up at about 1 plus and Jess woke up at 2.

We decided to make the day special so we started cooking pasta. Really, to many cook will spoil the soup. Don't want to talk about it lar. hahaa it was absolutely boring.

I was suppose to go to the medic camp thingy and I was so looking forward for it cose, I love those stuff, ( lols I <3 House and Greys! speaking of, I'll tell later.) although I will never ever want to be a doctor. haha! My stupid mum lar, who cares only for herself decided to just jet off without tell us. We all got so pissed. she's got a mind of her own now..

Anyhooo.. It's so cool blogging at Starbucks! Although there's this two couple sitting behind of me watching me like a frigging camera. Hey, if you can read this, f*ck off!

alright, speaking of Grey's, stupid Shepherd kissed Rose!! Bloody hell !! If you watched season 4 episode 10, you'll know what I mean.. Ish Ish! every body's now crazy about Patrick, he was a house whole name but Enchanted made it bigger. And that movie didn't show his full potential.

I'm damn lazy to blog right now. I'm star struck with Kimi! haha!

More to come.

Kimi Raikkonen is back to work for his winter testing with his new car without traction control! He can go crazy in that car! Yeah, more pictures of him and interviews to be seen! The Gala is coming soon! Or isit already here?

AND

Happy 16th birthday to my pat poh friend, my class roomie sitting beside me, my weird+silly friend. =)
P/S: I DON'T miss you at ALL ! =P take that..

I loved u with a fire red, now it's turning blue.

I've gotta blog before my connection goes dead again! It's been happening for over a week! And each time we call, we always get the same result.. And this morning when my sis called, she knew everything that their going to say. This sucks so badly!

Anyways, I've just finish watching Gossip Girls and it's the best episode I've watched so far! I loved that episode! haha. Something unusual. I'm starting to like the character Chuck. He's such a good friend and he does have what everybody thinks he don't have, a heart with feelings.

I've been using photoshop so much lately cause I can't surf.. My connection or whatever the problem is, always goes on and off so I keep reloading the google page, if there's the google page, means there's connection or whatever problem was fixed for that moment of time. & I'll like shout to my sis and we'll like go surfing as fast as we can before it goes off again. It was fun at a time.

I can't wait for Grey's to come out! Come out already with that guys artery bursting. YUCK haha but it was cool =P

♪ I don't need no Emmy in my life to make me happy cose I'm happy without an Emmmy.....

What's up with your life?

Had a reunion dinner last night at Monte'. =D I wasn't feeling all that well yesterday night so I didn't really participate in that dinner quite as much, I was just sitting there listening to their life changes..

While, the two active mingle-ers, Ely & Kim mingled their mingling ass off going from place to place talking.. That said much, I don't have much to talk about. I wasn't hyped enough to take pictures too. hahaha!

Anyways, it was the first time in a long time when I wore high heels and I couldn't walk. I was dragging my feet like crazy =P.. And surprisingly, Ely was wearing flats. hahah!! Don't want to talk about it =P

The whole night pretty much sucked for me cose I wasn't as hyped as I should be, instead I was alittle moody. Need to do it again when I'm more myself than when moody-ness takes over.

Anyways, there's no pictures of last night. wasn't into the taking pictures last night. Unlike SOMEBODY! WC! you know who you are. =P

Ready for tonight! =D

McDreamy or McSteamy? BOTH

I was so bumped just now when I was surfing the channel and there was TRL.. Unfortunately, that episode was when Patrick Dempsey (everyone's talking about him now) was the guest & I missed it! He was going off when I turned the channel. DAMN.

I was screaming & shouting, Ely now thinks I'm so dramatic. haha! Anyways, I wasn't satisfied not seeing him so I went googled it.. Look for it.

So, here it is, for you guys (who's crazy about him too)

* did you know that he's a juggler? YEAP! Won 2nd place in a juggling competition when he was 15.

Anyhoo, check him out on TRL. HERE
he has a freaking Dempsey doll !! WTH.

//* edited.

Couldn't make it to the Salsa thingy last minute.. Had time to organise my iTunes and my iMovies.

Anyways, that's the boring part.. Went out when Ely reached my house, caught up with the guys for dinner.. They were so obsess with I Now Pronounce you Chuck & Larry. haha. Whatever they did that night, they'll go "Eh remember that part from Chuck&Larry.."

The last day of Live & Loud wasn't any good at all.. So, we just walked around and bought those glow in the dark sticks.. After awhile, we decided to head back to Desa.
Long walk back! But it was good with company. 5 minutes away from the place, some the cars that was parking at the road side got their windows shattered.. Alot of them actually. Not safe!

Reached Choo's to take the car then went for a quick drink & back to Choo's to play.. Just hang out..Came back home after that. Durh. =D

Damn lazy to type! Crystal's back!!. LOLS.

Ooh, plus, when I got home, I stepped on Ely's slippers, she screamed, I dropped my precious never been dropped phone! Worst, it was on the tar road!!!! I was like fuckfuckfuckfuck!

Pick me, Choose me, Love ME.

CONNECTION!! I blame my stupid sister for upgrading the stupid connection, ergo, the stupid connection company or whatever had to shut down my stupid connection for days!

Whatever.. pffts

Yesterday I felt so fuzzy. LOLS. at night, on the way for dinner, Patrick Dempsey was on radio!! The Ryan Top 40 or just that Ryan talk thingy lar. Waah, I loveee his voice!

Then when I came home, I usually don't watch CNN but I was surfing the channels and I got to watch Roger Federer's interviews when he was here!! That stupid interview lady sucks!! She got to play with FedEx on court. & she didn't know how to play tennis so FedEx taught her!! WHATTHEHELL!! They talked about Mirka.. or is it Mikra.. either way, he said and I quote " I thank her for her support and I love her very much and maybe we'll have a family and have kids"
AHHHHHH!!! I feel fuzzy and warm! =D

Anyhooo... I had like tickets to go for the Live and Loud 07 yesterday! So many of them, but I gave it to my sister and I didn't want to go cose all my sister's friends will be going. THE WHOLE GANG! So, I gave it to her.. then, this dumb-dumb-I-don't-like-her-anymore-best-friend-of-mine-went-and-
didn't-tell-me!! With MY tickets!!

But, luckily she invited me to go watch some salsa competition so she's back to my good grace. LOLS!

It'll be a long day!! Going for the Salsa thingy then for the Live and Loud. blek.. Why must it all be on the same damn day!

No time to blog, Ely's on her way here! woof